UPDATE:

Leaves In The River by Sea Wolf lyrics say it much better than the whole original post below them did:

I met a girl on halloween
well she was lost and i was drunk
and it was dark and cold out when we left
and as we walked the rain started
the leaves I’ve felt
with every step and all around around us
people slept alone with their dreams

the wind came down from out the planes
and blew the leaves out through the streets
I wondered how far leaves could realy fly
would they rest in several yards
or make it to the city
or would they end up in the river just to float away

she pointed to a small brick house
and said it was where she grew up
the lights were out
she asked if we could stop for a while
her hair was still just getting wet
water running down her neck
collecting in the hand printed cement beneath her feet

apparently there had been a death
someone close had nothing left
because she hadn’t left him in the end

I saw her blush when I asked
if she always talked like that
she said it only happened when she drank
and later on I felt her hand slipping into my cold fist
she promised me a kiss as soon as we got home
her costume had begun to tear
she ran ahead and turned to me
her laughter echoed through the empty streets

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ORIGINAL POST:

some nihilist, non-sequitur lines from some other time (clearly a time that sucked ass).

i think these lines need rearranging into a different order to make sense. read on and experience the inevitable nausea. (yay for uncontrollable nausea!)
_____________________________

i crossed that street some 3000 times last night,
curb to curb,
a caged, thrashing street rat-tat-tat (it’s not you, it’s me. i’m the cause of my own pain.)
pacing inside the winding, suffocating cuisinart haste-haste-haste

of ghoulish thoughts. of insiduous intent.
hang on tightly…

from star-search to soul-search.

if you knew even half the madness in the maze,
it would curdle your blood, fry your synapses.

nothing can give me what i need and want.
it doesn’t exist.
so i belong to it.
i belong to nothing.

i want nothing. sweet dreamful embrace of nothing.

you are like me, nothing,

belonging to nothing.

belonging to none.

i don’t want to catch mono again,

but here comes another hallowe’en mask
……………….running raw in the rain
perfectly fabulous outfit ruined.

a beautiful blonde dreadlocked drunk
angel appears out of the blue

and gives me an embrace.

another perfect timing ruined.

from nowhere and for nothing.

reading the ‘morning lovers’ coos
uttered right before the revelation
is the most painful thing.

and that ironic-more-ironic message sent

As It Happens

bushed, asleep on a salty pillow, eyes burning, witching hour.

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i think this needs to go up on an LJ page or something. with some deviantArt thrown in to match. blech.